Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize