you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
