yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Quick, to the slutcave!
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
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