Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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