I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
