maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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