it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
