Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
