I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
