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new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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