I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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