I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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