My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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