Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Randomize
