when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
