I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
