there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
