wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Even my vagina gasped.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
