you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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