Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
