11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
