Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
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