Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
this is an emotional support booty call
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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