So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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