if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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