When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
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tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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