I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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