P.S. I can't hear my feet
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
