remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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