Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize