O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
