you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
