OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
