Dude my mom stole all your condoms
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
it's like heaven, but drunker
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
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