so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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