it was like eating out sand paper
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
