So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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