She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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