Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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