I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
