garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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