Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
