Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
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