Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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