You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
my liver is dry heaving
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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