I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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