you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
