You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
