I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
