We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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