I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
