It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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