batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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