summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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