so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
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