So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
