I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
There r osticjed everywhere
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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