Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
