i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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