Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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