She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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