I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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