I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
